30 December 2009

When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade...That SUCKS!!!

Yes, I am officially missing my funny bone (or any funny place to be fair) at present.

So, OK, here I was, blissfully enjoying my *sabbatical* from work, after 28 years of hard graft, through marriage, 5 pregnancies, births, 3 months off with each baby, divorce (OK, just the usual stuff all of us mums go through in life)...

Then this year, a lovely, very large lump (oh, the irony of that word!!) sum of early severance which paid off ALL our combined debts (yes, really, nothing, nada, nil) with leftover for me to peruse the job front at a very (read ::very::) leisurely pace.

Then wouldn't you just know it (actually I should have really, shouldn't I?....Duh)....

.....Life goes and serves us a nice BIG, FAT, JUICY lemon!

No, nothing much has really changed from yesterdays post, apart from a rather bizarre meeting today with the lovely, and very esteemed consultant, Prof. M. Thomas at The Royal Marsden Hospital. Bizarre, as at some points I couldn't really tell if he was talking to us or dictating into his little machine, which he kept rewinding midway through sentences to check where he was, then stopping to tell/ask us something, but sort of all at the same time.

At his request, I was pulling all OH's meds out of a carrier bag (I know, how so un-PC and so very trendy of me!..Not!) which happened to be under the very chair he was sitting on, so I was therefore crouched down, in front of him, between his knees, whilst he, still dictating, and looking down at me with bushy, wiggly eyebrows asked "how many?"..click..whiz...."Oh that's rather a lot, 2 a day you say?"..click....whiz...."Monica comma Iliac vessels, posterior, Psoas muscle stop New paragraph"...."does he need to take that many?"(YES! Fuck, he does, you try sleeping next to the person you love while he's quietly whimpering in pain in his sleep!!)...click....whiz...
As I said, rather bizarre! And I think if my funny bone could have been located this would've been the time...

Anyway, the upshot is actually more or less the same, a 7cm tumor. But what we did find out is that it's wrapped around his Iliac vessels. A biopsy was taken (definitely ouch, after all it was only a curtain between us) and the results will be ready next Thursday. But as any operation will also involve a Vascular surgeon, the best of which happens to be away till the beginning of the week after next, OH now has an appointment for the results on the 14th Jan.

So, I'm sort of hoping that the wonderful Prof. Thomas, in his infinite wisdom..click...whiz..., knows that damn recipe for 'Lemonade' because at the moment I sure as hell don't....stop

But of course, all and any recipes for 'that' Lemonade most humbly & gratefully accepted...

:::Shit!... does this post now mean I've moved on from just plain ANGER?...because I just read this back and I don't see very much anger here??!?:::What's the next stage??:::


  1. Much love, prayers and concern coming your way across the pond! I know you are angry; I would be too! But please know that I am here for you (not much help being so far away)! If you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to vent to - call on me, love. I'm here. And I'm saying all my prayers.

  2. Gigi: Your comment just made me cry and still crying..sorry....I think it's a good thing, maybe? I haven't actually cried, apart from once, with OH, that was it. But do you have a 'lemonade' recipe for me?? Sorry, I think I just want it all to be made better and to go away. Thank you xxx

  3. I don't know what to say but wanted to say something. I'm thinking about you and you're in my prayers. God bless.

  4. I'm sorry it's so shit at the moment. You have every right to be angry and actually, it's good to be angry. It keeps you focussed in a bizarre way. But be kind to yourself too, honey.
    Thinking of you this New Year. All will be well. Have faith xx

  5. Yes very bizarre meeting. A bit rude to carry out an appointment like that, obviously saves time but so...
    They did a biopsy there and then, I just can't even imagine that, how awful...for you both.
    I'm sorry you really are in limbo land now. The next two weeks are going to drag.
    Again thinking of you and your family and am here anytime you want to vent.
    I hadn't noticed this post last night but wanted to email you and ask but wasn't sure if it was appropriate.
    I hope you manage to do something tonight to try and forget for a couple of hours the pain of it all. Take care. xx

  6. Sendinng good thoughts and prayers your way, for a better 2010 than 2009 is ending!

  7. OH's LB here. Let me know if there's anything we can do. Keep in touch!