Tomorrow OH and I will travel up to London to the Royal Marsden Hospital, for a 2.15pm appointment with a specialist, Prof. Thomas (yup...he has been googled, lots ...he's extremely good)
His previous stay in hospital turned out not to be his appendix, but a 7cm tumor called a soft tissue sarcoma. So, for obvious reasons, I wish we weren't having to make it at all.
There ::breathe out:: I've written it down now....in black & white, all very matter of fact. But believe me, until now, I have been incapable of writing that down without getting so irrationally angry, I physically couldn't write it. I'm not angry because of the time they took to find it, in the great scheme of things, it was only a couple of days of delay and they were completely right not to have operated on him at the time.
But I am just ANGRY. ANGRY. ANGRY!!
The anger hasn't abated or diluted in any way either, which in the normal run of events it does/should. But of course, to be replaced by other emotions.....therein, I do understand, lies the problem.
I know it's not healthy to hold on to so much anger, but I have to. Because I'm too scared not to.
Sorry to be such a party-pooper in this time of celebrations, and I am actually, oddly, sort of OK (well, apart from the anger!). But I just really felt the need to write this down RIGHT NOW, so I went with the flow.
Much love....and I wish you all a very Happy, Healthy New Year.. xxx
Good luck xx
ReplyDeleteOh no, good luck for tomorrow x
ReplyDeleteReally sorry...and yes I bet you are angry. I was trying to see if you had an email but you don't. My H had one too but it turned out to be benign. Is it malignant?
ReplyDeleteI hope you get some answers tomorrow, there is nothing worse than not knowing all the facts.
Thinking of you all. Take care. x
Oh!! Many prayers and good thoughts coming your way! I know you are angry and are right to be. I think once you know all the facts then you will be able to move past the anger. Stay strong and know we are here for you! XX
ReplyDeleteLooking Fab: Many thanks x
ReplyDeleteEmily O: Many thanks x
ChicMama: Thank you SO much for your email. 2 weeks for biopsy results, so the 14th Jan here we come..
Gigi: Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts, keep 'em coming, please..xx
Sending masses and masses of positive vibes your way.
ReplyDeleteMuch love from your auntie
xxxxx
auntiegwen: Everything positive very gratefully accepted, as I honestly don't seem able to be at the moment, yet I know I should, thank you. xx
ReplyDelete