5 March 2010

Guest Post Day - Sticky Fingers

Today, thanks to Little Mummy, is the day of many bloggers swapping blogs.

Yes, its 'Guest Post Day'. Drum roll...

So you will find Tara of Sticky Fingers fame here and I'm hanging out at hers for the day.
Tara has, in her words, two 'lovely little munchkins', aged 7 and 4. And although mine have long since passed this stage, I love reading about her 'munchkins' as it reminds me of how my now, hormone overloaded teenagers, once were. And trust me, with rampaging teens in the house I need all the reminders I can get.
And so, gently does it, try not to scare her off with all the possible horrors of teenagedom!
Please be upstanding for Tara...

"I have to chuckle when I read new mums talk about the cheek burning embarrassment of being caught in a trendy clothes store with their nipples leaking or walking into their posh office with baby puke on the shoulder of their work suit.
They are the sort of moments that make you want to turn to drink, or turn to stone or just turn and run away.
But I want to say to these women: nipple leakage? That's just a start. Wait until they grow up!

I have two young children. 7 and 4 (going on 14).
I know that once they hit their teens or tweens I'm going to be pulling my hair out because even now the embarrassment levels are dangerously high.

I remember when I was breastfeeding and a Savoy cabbage leaf popped out of my bra while I was at a posh spa hubby had treated me too. It was all white coats, minimal decor and scented candles. I like to think the tall, willowy, twentynothing assistant could recognise a breastfeeding mum suffering at the hands of a particularly hungry baby, but the look on her horrified face said otherwise.

Then we reached the Terrible Twos and my toddler managed to be violently sick in the children's aisle of a Wilkinsons megastore - all over his pushchair, clothes, floor and, mortifyingly, the display of books nearby.
You can actually feel the red hot burn of disapproval from shoppers boring in to your neck as you're down there on your hands and knees trying to mop it up with the scrap of tissue you managed to find at the bottom of your changing bag.

And don't get me started on when they can talk.
Walking hand in hand with my son around Ikea behind a particularly large gentleman he stage whispers to me: "That man is so fat, mummy". Of course, to a toddler 'stage whisper means say it as loud as your lung capacity will allow and what actually came out as was "THAT MAN IS SO FAT, MUMMY"
Then, while sat round a camp fire with new friends on a camping trip, my angelic little man is clearly bored with the conversation as it doesn't involve Ben 10/chocolate/him so randomly declares to all: "My mummy has two bottoms. A front one and a back one."

Supermarkets? Why do we not avoid them like the plague, because we know, we absolutely know, we're going to have an inquisitive child demand 'what the hell is that?' when someone slightly different talks to them (yes, yes I've been there too).

Ah leaky nipples, those were the days . . .

I know, I know, there are probably a whole host of you rolling your eyes and saying 'she has NO idea of what's to come'.

So tell me - gently - what is to come?"


  1. Ahem....

    No, no, I can't do it Tara. I'll save it for another day...(or maybe a few mojitos!).

    Great guest post - two of my favourite blogs swapping for the day? Must be fate! x

  2. I have no idea (we're only at four).

    Two bums made me laugh!

  3. No, dont tell her. I have fingers in my ears. I am plodding on regardless

  4. Oh Tara, Tara. You have asked the dreaded 'what is to come' question. I am off to pick up my six-year-old's lovely pink fluffy teddy and run for the hills before anyone reples...

  5. I don't know as we're only at Eight here, but I'm trying to remember all the good stuff now in case it all goes a bit downhill from here!!

  6. Please remember the good stuff as it will be essential when your big girl gives you The Look.

    The withering silent one.

    The one you remember giving your own mother that says anything from "I pity you" to "I despise you right now" to "I will NEVER be like you" to "Why are you here again?"

    That Look.

    That one takes quite some deep breathing to ignore.

    I think that is enough info for now. Enjoy the pre-tween and pre-teen times. They are truly magical. (Though the big kids aren't always THAT bad ;-)

    MD xx

    ps love the Blog Swop, great post x

  7. @ English Mum: Love you. Despite what everyone says, still love you x

    @ MadHouse: You and me both. You and me both. In fact I find that tact works for most things in life . . .

    @ Rosie: Knowledge is power my friend. Stay a while, come back come back.

    @ Ella: You're OK at 8 I think, from my learnings it all goes downhill at about 10/11 . . .

    @ MD: Thanks so much. And thank you for giving us all hope! x

  8. Tara, Karen here! This is really odd, but fun, commenting on your post on my blog.
    A wonderful post! They do say the most blush inducing things, at the worst times, in the worst places. I promise I'm not rolling my eyes, really, I'm not! Best tip ever? just enjoy the calm before the storm...

  9. a front and a back, you say? oh the joys of children, and i have it all to look forward to...

  10. Lovely post! Never had the leaky nipples because I bottle fed from the start, but have done the sick in a shop thing! I wish people would stop being so bloody ignorant and just help. It doesn't take much does it.

    CJ cc

  11. My sons who are 11 and 6 love nothing better than to get their younger sister (3) to shout 'Ow, my penis!' in public places. She is always most obliging - anything to get a laugh out of her brothers.

    But according to my 11 year old it is me who is embarrassing.

  12. @ Heather. How about if I told you that is not the most embarrassing thing they've ever exposed me to . . .

    @ Crystal Jigsaw: Funnily enough it happened to me about a year ago when I rushed to the aid of a mum in a shoe shop and the look of relief on that poor woman's face was clearly visible. Exactly that CJ, it doesn't take much. x

    @ Gappy: Love that story gappy: glad it's not just my kids!